40.
Improvised crawl of New Malden, Waterloo and Lambeth North, Sunday 14th
September 2003
There was absolutely no reason for this.
Richard Bradshaw and I had met up at Nick Hoskins' 30th birthday bash on a
Sunday afternoon in New Malden. Mr Bradshaw had intended to go see the
Quireboys, but in the event could not be arsed so we had a quick few in some
pubs instead. After the party had cleared out, we sat in the Fountain, New
Malden to plot a route. We noted that this pub is in a Korean ghetto which is
something you don't see every day, however, Korean products were not on sale
and so instead we had to content ourselves with London Pride, Courage Best and
Directors and both types of Youngs, which was actually quite good for a pub
that is really very average.
The plan was to get a train from New
Malden, so to kill a few minutes we went in Bar Malden next to the station.
Again a very mediocre pub, a bit like an expensive Wetherspoon’s. The toilets
were a right pain to get to as well. Beer choices were Bass, Adnam’s Broadside
and Young’s Bitter and all were a little above average price. Still with a few
minutes to spare after having missed the train we wanted, we nipped into the
cavernous Railway which is quite frankly populated by some dodgy characters,
and has no beer. Despite this the prices were cheap so the score is moderate.
Finally time to get the train, and to
break the journey, a stop at the Halfway House at Earlsfield, how apt. This was
a more traditional though rather sedate Young's pub with Special and Bitter on.
Whilst watching the Spanish football we noted Frank Rijkaard and commented that
he had spat in Rudi Voller's hair at Italia 90.
Indeed you can see it in this scanned picture from
the back page of the Daily Mirror, 25th June 1990 - note the globule in
mid-flight. After this brief chuckle, we left as this was a pub to grow old in.
More railway took us to the Fire Station at Waterloo, which is a converted fire
station (no shit) with perhaps a slight Oriental foody feel. They had a great
range of beer - London Pride, Bass, Adnams, Spitfire, Young's Bitter, Kirin and
Affligen - and it wasn't too expensive. And strangely it was quite lively for a
Sunday night. Just up the road was the Ruby Lounge where seemingly sk8er boy
type characters were slowly serving cocktails, though ours redeemed himself by
changing the keg of Flowers IPA for me. We had to sit on some poof seats which
were murder on the back – and a bit trendy for me.
Just across the road is the Elusive Camel
which on Rich's last visit was good, but for us was poor. Expensive beer, no
choice of beer, shit bar snacks. And has an annoying step half way along the
bar. Finally, it's full of Aussies/Kiwis/Boers, so really no need to venture in
again unless you fancy getting soaked in lager during the rugby world cup.
Normal beer was regained, just, when we found some Greene King IPA at the Crown
and Cushion at Lambeth North, which has a slight Irish flavour to it. The
jukebox was OK, but otherwise standard wooden floored, possibly ex-Firkin, feel
to it.
The Three Stags was the next stop, and was
distinctive as it had both a waxwork of Charlie Chaplin (or perhaps it was the
bloke from Sparks. Or Hitler.), and some very strange pump attachments whereby
you could see approximately the next pint in a clear vessel waiting to be
pulled. Beer choice was Greene King IPA, 1799 and Abbot, and the rest of the
pub was OK. Some people came in to take their photograph with Charlie so we
drank up and left.
The Pineapple is a deathly quiet pub with
a slightly uneasy atmosphere. We had the choice of Pride, both Young’s or Bass,
but the surroundings could have been one of any nearby place. Finally, we
rounded off in the Steam Engine, again exactly the same as the others, apart
from the fact that a very poor karaoke was on that evening which may have
resulted in a lock in. However, since the best that they could offer was keg
Whitbred, we for once sensibly decided to go...
Dan
Lovegrove
dan@doctor-lovegrove.com
Last updated 21st October 2003.