117. St Thomas, US Virgin Islands, Saturday 3rd - Thursday 7th January 2009

In what could be described as a change of scene from the previous pub crawl that ended in Balham a few days earlier, work engagements took me to the US Virgin Island of St Thomas for the 15th International Symposium on Plasticity. An opportunity was therefore available to visit a couple of pubs not done before. As we shall see however, the selection was largely toilet with the worse scoring pub ever featuring. This may be in part because this part of the world isn't really into beer.

Anyway, as is customary with any transatlantic work trip, the day started with breakfast and a pint of Guinness in an airport bar bought on the company credit card. The airside O’Neill’s at Terminal 3, Heathrow Airport is typical unkempt airport bar, but at least they do a pint, and it's not bad if you're looking for that sort of beer to bolster your fry up. But you'd never go there out of choice. A largely uneventful 'plane journey followed and I alighted at Miami International Airport in order to catch a connecting flight to St Thomas. There was time to have a look around which included the opportunity to have some beer and a burger. The Miami International Airport Hotel Lobby Bar managed the dubious distinction of being the worst bar that I have rated thus far since ratings began in 2001. It had absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever. On one side there is a bustling airport, on the other a doorway outside that lets in hot, sweaty, diesel laden air. The bar was cramped and dark. It was also expensive and they had no beer. The location of toilets was not obvious. I sat behind a large metal pillar midway along the bar that really gets in everyone's way, sipping at a cold but flavourless Budweiser. Surely things would improve!

Arriving in the tropical paradise of St Thomas and getting into bed for a good night's sleep, I was galvanised for a quick look around the island and got the boat ferry to the main town of Charlotte Amalie. Feeling peckish and thirsty after a long walk, I decided to get some food and drink at the Fat Turtle, which included a shed load of water so that I wouldn't neck my beer too quickly nor dehydrate. The beer was uninspiring but the food was OK and the surroundings were pretty good, so all in all an improvement and a reasonable start. Everything in the town seemed to be closing up as it was Sunday afternoon, but I did manage to find a shop for some cans and also another bar, a much more authentic Latino establishment named the Latin Foods Paradise in which I managed to get a bottle of Red Stripe or similar. Finally back to the Frenchmans Reef Marriott hotel and with night falling I thought that I would take advantage of the Rum Bar which is just off the lobby and afford good terrace views. Most people were having cocktails though I managed to get another beer or two including one which purported to be local. The company credit card was used for this most expensive of purchases.

The next day I decided to walk towards Charlotte Amalie and ended up almost where I had got to the previous day, but crucially not quite as I later discovered that there were several bars not visited in the gap... Anyway, the Shipwreck Tavern seemed pleasant enough and seemed to be selling itself as an authentic pirate themed pub and to be fair it wasn't that bad. They even managed to do some draft although for some reason the only thing on was Newcastle Brown. I asked for some local ale and was duly given a bottle with a palm tree on. However on closer inspection, said 'local' beer was actually brewed in Maine whilst another local beer was brewed in Minnesota. A decent evening out anyway.

Returning to the hotel again afterwards I had worked up a bit of a thirst and so has a quick bottle at the Sunset Grill and Bar which is one of these outdoor poolside kinds of thing with nice tables and cocktails. I sat at the bar and had another Red Stripe.

After the editorial board meeting of the International Journal of Plasticity, I decided to reward myself for my efforts and so went to the hotel's Captain's Café which is indoors. It's located off of a corridor and tries to be one of these stereotypical American bars with seats all the way along the bar face. True, this is present, but the atmosphere is pretty sterile and I did not enjoy my time in there drinking more Red Stripe, although there were at least draught options.

The Wednesday marked time to go back and after deciding not to have anything landside, I went to the Hibiscus at the Cyril E King Airport. This was really a cafeteria where one could buy a small selection of beer. I had a bottle of Red Stripe, served by a surly man, whilst eating chicken and rice. My final bar of the trip was again in the interval between changing planes, this time at Terminal 8, New York JFK Airport. Finally something decent! or so it seemed, as I got a seat at the bar of the New York Sports Bar. This place was pretty lively and quite like a proper pub. They would have scored more highly, but for the fact that anything interesting in their list of a dozen or so beers was off. Still, not a bad place to drink.

In short, if you are a fan of beer, the Caribbean is not the place for you.


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Dan Lovegrove
dan@doctor-lovegrove.com

Last updated 2nd May 2009.