29.
Richard Bradshaw Annual Crawl - Whitsun Bank Holiday Weekend - 2003 Notting Hill, Saturday 24th May 2003
The annual tradition continues - this was
the 8th such crawl held on the Saturday of the Whitsun bank holiday weekend,
the 213 crawl being a prequel. And this year it did not disappoint. I arrived
at the 4th pub (too much beer the previous day) and was further hindered by a
load of milling fuckers in Notting Hill Gate.
Eventually, I managed to battle up to the Earl Percy on Ladbroke Grove and saw
9 other likeminded souls in there including Richard Bradshaw, Mark Giles, Adam Sharr and Andy Wright. [They'd already been to the Western
Arms, Cow Shed and Eagle]. The beer in this pub was Abbot and Greene King IPA
so I elected to have a pint of XXXX shandy instead.
Not the most welcoming of establishments - I doubt you could settle in here.
Next pub was actually situated under the
railway. And it was horrible. It was called Ion and had no proper beer on
though I have to say the toilets were quite nice. I had an expensive half of
lager and looked forward to the next watering hole. This was the Kensington
Park, a diehards QPR pub, and looked like the 'ponce'
pub from Withnail and I. I was most
pleased to have a half of John Bull in preference to Tetleys.
I personally did not visit the toilets but was told they were dire (and did not
want to be called a ponce). A large portion of
ceiling was missing above the bar also. Sadly we soon had to leave.
A splendid range of ales awaited us at the
Elgin Arms, which was strange as the pub was quite trendy,
and quite lively for early on a Saturday afternoon. The first picture shows
Rich, jubilantly holding the whip bag (hopefully in
the Elgin Arms; no as it transpires this is the Hillgate,
our last pub), anticipating the day ahead. The whip bag was a particularly lary pencil case.
The array of beer included several varieties of
bottled Belgian stuff, and cask Adnams, Burton,
Tetley and Bombardier, as well as special lagers/wheat beers Affligen and Wieckse Witte. I had
a swift half of Bombardier before popping to the nearby convenience store for
some milk to line the stomach. As I recall the menu was quite good though the
bar snacks were nothing special and the staff mainly foreign. Turning down
Kensington Park Road, we nipped into E&O which was actually a fancy
restaurant selling Oriental food with a small bar at the front and we were
forced to drink Stella. The toilets though were impeccable having a trough for
urinating and another as a long wash basin. Marvellous.
In the E and O bar (second picture).
Next, after battling past the milling
hoards at the Portobello Road Market, was the Earl of Lonsdale, a proper Samuel
Smiths pub, although they didn't have any draught beer which was a shame. I
guessed that there would be change of a tenner for
the round of 10 people and lo and behold it was £9.96. The barmaid from the
Passing an architecturally
commended toilet (the words of Adam Sharr), we made
our way up Chepstow Road to the Prince Bonaparte. I'm
sure that once upon a time this was a nice salt of the earth boozer, but now it
appears to have been spoilt, even though it retains much of its earlier
features, and has been hijacked by the All Bar One loving crowd. We paid
extortionate prices for London Pride and crisps, though the Pride wasn't too
bad in taste. The toilet was also very crowded. We did however have a nice long
table like this one (third picture).
Moving swiftly on we arrived at the Oak,
another pub that had had a trendy makeover. For some reason we didn't hate this
one as much. Mind you we had to settle for Carling, watching it come out again
in the toilets unchanged, though fortunately not on our shoes as the kind owner
had erected a piss guard in the trough. Next stop was the Metropolitan, by
Westbourne Park tube. My notes record news of 
Diving down a back street we encountered
yet another once local, now trendy pub in the form of the Golborne
House, in the shadow of the (architecturally superb - Adam Sharr)
Trellick Tower which has its own viewing platform
which we unfortunately gave a miss. The beer was OK, having London Pride, Staropramen, Hoogaarden and Becks all on tap. We stood outside drinking as inside was a
bit packed, and quite a few families too if I remember correctly. Travelling a short way along Golborne
Road we turned into Portobello Road and the ultra-trendy, ultra-shit Bed. I was
forced to drink Carling in this place, and as recompense for the trauma I had
suffered I pinched one of their quite nice half pint pots. No redeeming
features here - noisy, haphazard toilets, poor snacks, expensive drinks, people consuming brightly coloured
shots. Yuk. The last picture is us deciding where to move to next. After this
the camera was retired for fear of mishaps.
Twelfth pub of the day (15th for the
others) was the Mau Mau bar stuck right in the middle
of Portobello Road market. Having the air of some sort of continental cafe, we
nearly gave it a miss, but ultimately decided to go in for a swift half of Grolsch. Again, drinking was quick as we felt like moving
on. Though maybe we shouldn't've,
since the next place was a bitter disappointment. The Market is crap -
it doesn't do any proper beer, not even keg, despite pretensions of looking
like a pub so I gave it shit marks. Everything about it was poor.
Fortunately, proper beer was available not
too far away at the Castle, a lively establishment and the most pub-like we'd
seen for a while. London Pride and Adnams made a
welcome appearance and many of the punters were decent, so the atmosphere went
up. Despite the fact that the beer was substandard and expensive, it was still
a pleasing find.
At this point, the group decided to split
a while, Mr Bradshaw insisting that we go for a sherbert in the Electric House, which because of its name
and personalised boxes of matches was obviously
trendy. However, I was the only one to join him, but we didn't hate it as much
as expected. For a start, the toilets scored full points for being
'Magnificent' though I had become a bit pissed by this point and cannot
remember them, perhaps there is a photo somewhere. Whilst supping some Stella (wifebeater), we encountered a Scotsman (Alan) in a trendy
shirt and his companion (Helen) to whom we explained the mechanics of the
rating system. They informed me that the Grill in Union Street, Aberdeen is
worth a visit, so I shall try and slot that in if I'm up there. Helen also
reported that the ladies were equally as good as the gents'.
My recording skills began to take a dive
from this point, but Richard and I decided to rejoin the others at the Duke of
Wellington about 50 yards down the road. This was a proper pub, though it was
decorated quite spartanly and didn't have many distinguishing features. I quickly
caught up with a swift half of Young's Bitter, though Special was also on at
the time. Slipping back a few doors I had a quick sausage and chips to provide
a fresh intake of absorbent material, and we carried on to the Portobello Star.
This was a modest pub, if memory serves me right, a bit like a Firkin or
something. We sat outside, so I don't remember that much about it, though the
Flowers was OK if a little pricey - there wasn't anything else.
For the second time that day, we strode
into the Earl of Lonsdale, as the crawl had done an entire loop. It was much as
before, though the jukebox was on now and they played such gems as I think
we're alone now by Tiffany and Heart of Glass and Warchild by Debbie Harry. Time started elapsing very
quickly now and we proceeded to the Sun in Splendour
where a Danish/other Scandinavian sort behind the bar challenged me as I
slipped into the can for a much needed piss. As I recall the London Pride was
good and quite reasonable, though everyone was feeling a bit woozy here (I
think some people had already gone home).
Crossing the main road at Notting Hill Gate, we found a reasonable backstreet local
in the shape of the Hillgate, though it was quite
empty inside so we sat outside. Bombardier seemed the only local on offer that
day. Finally, we hit one of the best pubs of the day, the Uxbridge Arms, where
I have been before. This is a very good friendly backstreet local, and London
Pride and Brakespeare were on draught that day. I
managed a couple of pints and a sit down, and we reflected on the day, then I
believe I went into a customary anti-German rant when discussing closing time.
There were only 4 of us by the time we left here, but all had agreed that a
good day was had, and despite the fact that the pubs were not the quaintest, we
felt that it was one of the most enjoyable crawls yet.
Dan
Lovegrove
dan@doctor-lovegrove.com
Last updated 13th August 2003.