23. Docklands Light Railway Pub Crawl, Saturday 22nd February 2003

Docklands Light Railway Pub Crawl! This was indeed a day of history in the making as Dave Wacey and I planned a trip to London's Docklands to have a spin on the DLR and visit some East End boozers. Meeting at the ridiculous time of 10am, we Oxford Tubed it to London, whence we had to use the omnibus as the Central Line was broken. Using the DLR from Bank to Shadwell we alighted to fortify ourselves with wares from Peter's Pie and Mash shop which is splendid. Next door is the Old House at Home, a right locals' boozer with old soaks sat at shoddy tables, but a bar of distinction and character though we could only get handpumped Webster's Green Label. Toilet was foul also.

Getting back on the DLR to Limehouse, we milled around a bit along Narrow Street, eventually finding the Barley Mow, quite a nice pub for the area with lots of outside seating which we used to take full advantage of the 2pm sunshine along the riverside. Marvellous. Greene King IPA was noted as the only decent beer. This pub is up for closure though which is a bit of a rum do. Going a little further along the road, we arrived at the Grapes, an excellent pub and seafood place which we observed large plates of fish and chips at and no doubt affords fine views over the Thames. Decent beers - Adnams, Bass and Burton - were available though a little pricey. The atmosphere in this pub was excellent though. Thirty yards along the road is Booty's, a sort of foody wine bar, though actually the atmosphere in there was quite nice and we managed to catch part of Everton v Southampton on the TV. Draught Bass and Tetley were their offerings.

The first dire pub of the day was encountered at Westferry, the horrible Oporto where we elected to drink keg Toby in preference to IPA. Mind you, it was cheap, though the clientele and toilets cancelled this out somewhat. Getting back on the DLR, we travelled to West India Quay, where I thought that there would be no pubs. In fact we were wrong, and we found a fine example of a Wetherspoons, the Ledger House. This pub was bedecked in purple and metal and had a fine bar and separate family areas. The gents' also won 'Loo of the Year 2002'. As was to be expected from a Wetherspoons the beer was cheap and varied - we found Abbot Ale, Spitfire, London Pride, 6X, Directors, Ironside best, Butcombe Gold, Ridley's Old Bob, White Star Titanic and a silly cider. Across a footbridge, one reaches the Cat and Canary, a Fuller's pub which could be very nice but is actually quite sterile, serving only standard beers though there is a nice snug. Our final one in this area was the ridiculously expensive Henry Addington where London Pride at £2.90 was the cheapest beer, Guinness being £3.20! Why this was I don't know as it appeared to be a very standard newly constructed pub with bugger all other beer.

Fancying a bit of a break, we decided to have a spin on the Jubilee Line and went to that wasteland that is the Dome where there is a nice bus and rail interchange with quite a few people using it though I'm not sure why. A few hundred yards along a deserted busway takes you to the Pilot, a good honest pub, though quite expensive, it had a nice homely feel as we observed the half times coming through. London Pride and Old Speckled Hen were available. Retracing our steps, we came back to Heron Quays and got the DLR to South Quay where we found the Spinnaker closed so pushed on to Crossharbour where we found the George, another sedate East End boozer with a couple of old women selling Courage Best at us. Not inspiring but at least we got the full time scores here.

Island Gardens was the destination as we reboarded the DLR, and there are a handful of pubs here. Our first was the Waterman's Arms, a welcoming haunt with good bar snacks and whiskeys where you could settle in for the evening if you so wished, though you'd have to drink Bombardier, Pride or Adnams. Round the corner was the Ferry House, which looked more of a dive but had some very cheap Courage ale and a barmaid preoccupied with her mobile 'phone. Seedy pub, but homely somehow. The last in the set was the Lord Nelson which had the feel of one of those soulless pubs you might visit on a Friday in the inner city and get shitfaced on crap IPA. We did. Dave was starting to look green at this point so we elected to traverse the foot tunnel and collect some solids Sarf of da River.

Hearty Burger King meals in Greenwich filled us up after our walk through the foot tunnel, and we made the Trafalgar our first port of call after having had it recommended to us. The pub itself was getting fairly full, though it's basically an empty wooden shell, and we could choose between Old Speckled Hen, Spitfire, Courage or interestingly named Monkey's Magic or Trafalgar bitter. Pints were served by a crew of barmaids and Dave and I had our own opinions which was the best. The Yacht has to be said to have been the first pub in which the serving maidens actually took an interest in what we were doing so we have given them a good mark. And it felt like quite a good boozer, having the feel of a South London pub to it. Two sorts of Adnams, Bombardier and Spitfire almost forced us to stay. Let the record state that this is the best pub in Greenwich. Edging towards Maze Hill, we popped in the Plume of Feathers, a small locals pub heaving with people getting ready for a cowboys and Indians night. Still, quite good with well kept Pride, ESB, Hobgoblin and Adnams to choose from.

Hardy's on the main road in Maze Hill is a big bright pub that primarily does lager - we had lager shandies - though proclaimed that it did Old Speckled Hen, IPA and Ruddles. We went into the quiet side rather than the party side so were unable to see whether this was true. Otherwise a most bland pub. Just up the road was the appalling Victoria which we gave 0 to for atmosphere. This is because we were alleged to have spilt some Cockney Wanker's drink and he took exception to this after we had bolted a pair of crap halves of Courage in interesting glasses - we had to buy him a replacement before we could progress ... After getting a bus into Greenwich we started to feel a bit poorly but pressed on to the Kings Arms where my memory becomes hazy. Quite a nice lively pub if I recall correctly, with a good selection of ales - Courage, Theakston's Best, Bombarier and Directors. A decent pub for a session.

Crossing the road we strolled into the Cricketers for a swift half of Harvey's Best, though could have had London Pride or Brains if we'd wished. I think this pub was staple market trader territory (making this up now?). Round the corner was the rougher Spanish Galleon, a seemingly family run affair reminiscent of a typical Sarf London Boozer. Shepherd Neame products were on offer though many punters were drinking some vodka based muck. Wacey had a Coke as he was starting to feel rough. The next pub, back on the market was the Coach and Horses which we had initially ignored as it looked poncey. However, I had got the scent of a record and was determined to do it. Therefore I necked a creamy half of John Smiths or somesuch whilst Dave was in the pisser.

Time to exit, and Dave felt he could once again face alcohol, so we went to the rather lively Mitre full of Salt of the Earth people. We both elected to have London Pride rather than Courage which we had grown tired of by then. Around the back of Greenwich we finally encountered our first gay pub at about 10.20. It was the Rose and Crown, though you wouldn't know on immediate inspection. Shaven haired Jimmy Somerville lookalikes in tight T-shirts serving behind the bar gave the game away as did the number of all male couples. Beer was OK - Pride or Adnams perhaps, maybe Shepherd Neame - though I decided to neck mine (Dave had to visit the gents' again). Then we hit another gay pub, the Gloucester, whose name we didn't recall at first. This had a rainbow flag so was a bit more obvious, though I have to say the atmosphere was a bit more welcoming. Nevertheless, similarly attired bar men and keg ale made our stay short.

At about 10.50 we thought that we could do one more, but were turned away by both the Gypsy Moth and Wetherspoons. However a kindly bouncer at the latter directed us across the road to the Lord Hood, another locals boozer where we attempted to play pool against some larey local hustlers, and actually did quite well. And we didn't get out till well after closing time despite the fact that we kept on lurching around the pub to the can in a somewhat haphazard manner. Thus it was time to end the crawl, so we ambled across the road to the DLR which propelled us back to Bank, then the District to Victoria then to an awaiting 1.10am Oxford Tube departure via numerous incidents of public urination. Needless to say I felt awful the next day though Dave looked quite chipper when I espied him at about 4 in the afternoon on Iffley Road, must have been the lemonades. An excursion such as this is one not likely to be repeated in a hurry, if ever. Roll on Spring and simple cycle pub crawls.


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Dan Lovegrove
dan@doctor-lovegrove.com

Last updated 1st March 2003.