67. City of London pub crawl, Friday 13th August 2004

Richard Bradshaw and I had decided that it was high time we investigated some City of London pubs, which on a weekend are normally closed. Thus we both took a Friday off to see what was on offer. After an entertaining and disorientating trip on the Waterloo and City Line, Rich and I met up with Mr Mark Giles who was celebrating his 30th birthday with some work pals in the very swish Corney and Barrow. This is most accurately described as a cellar wine bar and we had a couple of very expensive bottles of Bitburger. However, we had a nice corner to ourselves and Mark had laid on some free nibbles, so it scored quite highly. Fine though it was at the time, I was hoping to find something a little more down at heel, seeing as we were likely to get somewhat shitfaced later on. The Pumphouse did the job most admirably, being a cellar pub doing London Pride. It was quite empty apart from some hippies having a few beers. The jukebox had been set to play Billy Joel and the Human League, which was pleasant, and a little more relaxing. There weren't any windows though...

Leadenhall Market is home to the Lamb, a very brown and shabby, but still with an air of Victorian atmosphere, Young's pub which was doing bog standard Bitter and Special. I didn't find anything special about it at all, but there is a picture below. The toilets were most cramped and there were Yuppies outside. Adam Sharr (RIBA) met us for a half in the Jamaica Wine House. This was almost a normal pub, with a number of rooms/alcoves, but the beer was expensive being Bombardier and Bloomsbury Bitter (?? - some badged up generic piss no doubt...). I quite liked it actually, as it was very relaxing, and the toilets were a U-shaped 'Isle of Dogs' trough, ie you can stand at the end of a peninsula, being surrounded by a river of piss on three sides. The photo below doesn't do it justice. Mind you, the place still wasn't anything special.

Adam stayed with us for a half in the Cock and Woolpack, an uninspiring side street pub. Shepherd Neame was the brewery, but some of the more interesting products were off. We had to sit perched at some high table on stools. Nothing else to report there, so we moved on to the Phoenix which proclaims itself to be a non-smoking pub. Despite the fact that the air was clean, there was a certain artificiality about the place. However, reasonably priced London Pride, Deuchars IPA and Spitfire made up for this, and at least it wasn't cramped.

Ye Olde Watling was next - another reasonable pub, quite lively now as it was knocking off time and Adam had gone. Two varieties of Adnam’s, Pride, Bass and John Bull were proclaimed, though I ended up with Bass as most were off. My records tell me that prices were competitive too. My records let me down with the next pub and Richard had to remind me of it. The Bell is actually quite a distinctive, charming side street local with (possibly) copper tables and well kept Deuchars IPA. It's very small inside, but fortunately being fine weather most people were outside - I'd hate to be in there amongst throngs of people wearing greatcoats on a November evening. Yuk! Toilets were quite good, once you'd circumnavigated the very wide man at the bar.

Richard had commented that the London Stone at Cannon Street was a fine pub, and he was right. It wasn't very busy in there, but the pub is ghost themed, somewhat like a haunted house inside. Unfortunately the atmosphere had not picked up by the time we left, but at least we had taken the opportunity to locate the gents'; you push a fake bookcase to get in! I am not sure where the ladies' were though... The jukebox was playing Reel2Reel featuring the Mad Stuntman I like to move it, move it. It was time to meet Richard's brother Matthew in the Old Tea Warehouse, a lively place containing people who had finished their day's work. Adnam’s, Greene King IPA and Abbot greeted us, at least one of which was off, though what we did get was reasonably priced. Amazingly, the pub contains a cigar vending machine, pictured below

The Poet just up the road looks like somewhere that I would hate although in fact it's not bad, and the clientele in there is quite attractive. It's like an All Bar One where someone has actually taken the trouble not to make it look like IKEA. Beer selection not bad – Adnam’s Bitter and Broadside, San Miguel, Kronenburg Blanc. Irritatingly the toilets are bloody miles downstairs. It's a good place to sit and watch the world go by. Foolishly, we left to go to the Barracuda, a very lively but crap meatmarket of a pub. There was no beer and the atmosphere was like a Chicago Rock Cafe. Shite. The Underwriter, next to the Gherkin is much better. Yet another downstairs bar, it is much more sophisticated, and we were served a couple of halves of Kronenburg Blanc, which was magnificent, and the barmaid warned us of its price (although it wasn't too bad...) We had a nice plush booth, and periodically had to pass the beautiful people to access the toilets which (though the can was out of action) were something out of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

My memory was becoming a little hazy now, and we stumbled into a seam of average pubs. The Bunch of Grapes had its name tiled into the floor in the entrance lobby, but apart from this had nothing special about it. I had some expensive London Pride which is all that was on, and we swiftly toddled over the road to the Ship Tavern where Richard and Matthew had a game of pissed darts whilst some other people were gambling at a nearby table. Again, there wasn't that much that could be said for it, although apparently the beer was well kept (Pride and IPA), so it might be worth a repeat visit sober. After seeing some freshly laid tarmacadam dug up, we ventured to the Elephant, quite a cosy, but very quiet downstairs pub which did a good pint of Young's Summer Zest in addition to its Best and Special. I really can't remember the Crutched Friar at all well, though it might be the pub that I have suddenly remembered and cannot place! I think it had a beer garden and a slightly Mediterranean atmosphere. Apparently Pride and IPA were on...

I do remember the Hog's Head, a shiny new kind of pub, a bit like a Wetherspoons, where we played some sort of quiz machine and did not win. Deuchars IPA and Pride were on here, reasonably well kept, expensive! If I remember the Angel correctly, it was another pokey back street pub, with a couple of beers - Pride, Tetley and Adnams - and not many seats. Quite good value though. Finally, we made our way to the Peacock to warm down after the day's events. Yet again interior wise, nothing special, but they did have some good beer on, Hopback Summer Lightning and Banks Original. I wisely opted for the Hopback which slipped down very well, and after a protracted couple of leaving pisses, we got on the Tube for a 40 minute bladder expanding ride to Morden, where we luckily got straight on an N93 for a safe trip home (even got let off at the top of Church Hill Road, great service!) All in all, it was a crawl well worth doing, just to mill around the City getting pissed up whilst suit wearing types toiled.

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Dan Lovegrove
dan@doctor-lovegrove.com

Last updated 24th August 2004.