71.
Mr. Sun stag weekend, Buddha Pest, Hungry, Friday 17th - Sunday 19th September
2004
Mr. Sun had had a stag weekend kindly
organised by his best man to Budapest, Hungary which involved a total of eight
likeminded individuals whose names will be withheld. My late arrival at the
airport meant that I would be unable to slot in any airport bars, so, apart
from a quick beer on the plane, the first bar visited was 'Harry's Bar' just up
the road from the hotel, which at the time was very mediocre indeed, although
subsequently from later in the evening evidence will reveal that in fact it was
a bit better. We drank upstairs and had a round or two of Dreher lager which
was reasonably priced. Hofbrau and Pilsner Urquell were also on, but we had
seen them before. Next up was a spot of dinner at a very swish bistro/bar
called Menza where the beautiful people of Budapest are likely to hang out. It
was very nice sitting on the tables outside, watching the women go past. It's
noticeable that the women in Budapest are much fitter than the UK. The bar was
OK, we had Soproni Aszok lagers whatever they are, and the toilets were
actually quite decent. Nonetheless, it still wasn't a real pub.
A proper pub followed, the 'B City Pub',
down a side road, quite a small local drinking den, but actually very good. We
could not fit in any of the small wooden booths, so had to sit by the door at
quite a rickety table, a bit like in a transport cafe. Their selection of beer
was most interesting as they had Becks, Staropramen, Stella, and two varieties
of Borsodi - Sor (Lager) and Barna (a far more ale-y kind of pint) The Barna
was very good, if a little heavy. The prices were finally more what we were
expecting. As punishment for some trivial misdemeanour, Mr Sun had a drinking
penalty which involved consuming some 80% spirit, served from an orange
labelled bottle very similar to Stroh 80. Ferenc Josef was a much darker and
well decorated bar, looking very much like a bar should. Serving behind the
counter was a very cute gothic girl. We ploughed through some earthenware mugs
of Dreher, as the Tuborg had run out and the Pilsner Urquell was frankly not
interesting. Our table was again long, but this time the seats were
comfortable. I had attempted to take the (already broken off) toilet seat for a
trophy, but our sharp-eyed hosts demanded its return, which I did over the bar.
However, I do have an earthenware mug as a souvenir instead, as do some others
from our party.
The final new bar for Friday was Club
Kiraly, a second rate titty bar, with about half a dozen birds who took turns
dancing round a pole, sometimes getting their tits out, sometimes not, and I
think that there was even the odd glimpse lower. However, they really weren't
very fit at all, and we were the only people in there. I couldn't see much
anyway as I fell asleep on a few occasions; yes the tits really were that
mediocre. We had to have very expensive bottles: you don't pay to enter these
places, but the beer in there more than makes up. On our way back, we passed
Harry's bar as it seemed lively. I wasn't feeling as lively, but did note that
the cellar was the place to be; many people having fun with music and dancing.
Mr Sun was presented with a shot of the amusingly named local tipple Unicum,
which probably pushed him over the edge. At about 3am it was time for a sleep,
to recharge for the next day's anticipated debauchery.
The following day, I was the only one to
make it down for a most fulfilling breakfast at the hotel. During the day, some
of us decided to take in a relatively dry walking tour of Budapest. The others
sat in a bar on a moored boat for much of the day, making a good start on the
ales, probably slotting in about 10 apiece. They probably didn't see much of
the city, so in case they are reading this and interested, here is a selection
of pics.
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Whilst out and about, we couldn't resist a
couple of beers with a late luncheon, so nipped into the Steffl Brasserie on
the riverside, where we were plied with Goulash, Steffl and Heineken. Again, it
wasn't really a bar, more a place of eating. A wedding or other function was
tipping out, so there were a few punters to look at which was pleasing. There
was also quite a nice one behind the bar.
Drinking in earnest began at Feszek, a
most interesting establishment right next to the hotel, with an open courtyard
and entertainers playing musical instruments. Very civilised indeed, somewhat
reminiscent of an Oxford college. They only had Stella though, but there were a
couple of good waitresses on. Nice and relaxing. Another trendy bar followed,
the Mediteranean Kavezo, which did quite expensive Pilsner Urquell and Dreher.
Fortunately, this was yet another place blessed with cute barmaids, to this
numbed the expense a little. Trying to find somewhere else decent, we
eventually said a collective 'sod it' and went into the slightly dodgy Diablo,
which had an underground nightclub. Beer was reasonable, they had Dreher and
Arany Aszok. This place had a tall blonde barmaid, so the lack of decent tables
was made up for a bit.
Award of the most dire bar of the weekend goes to Szlovak on Bihari James. This was basically a glorified cafe that did a bit of beer, which evidently I could not even be bothered to record. Its only redeeming feature was that the beer was cheap, but apart from that it was shit. Heading back now, a quick stop was made at Incognito, another trendy bar, where no doubt the locals thought it exceptionally expensive but we found it quite cheap. More Dreher and Pilsner Urquell for us followed, and it was quite a nice place to watch posh Hungarian girls too. Finally, it was the time we had all been waiting for and time to visit Hallo, the titty bar. And what a fantastic place it was too, much better than the awful place across the road that we had visited the previous day. Again there was a stage, but this time the girls were fit and between dances would patrol the room, selling their wares to interested punters. One could purchase lapdances, or there were private rooms for more private services. Lots of tit on display and a good measure of quim too. The lesbian show was a particular highlight (excellent red boots!!), but as these two were ultra fit, they were normally busy doing other things. As you'd expect, the atmosphere mark was predictably superb, but the bottles of Heineken were very expensive, so this let it down somewhat.
The next morning, arrangements had been
made for go-karting and clay pigeon shooting which proved to be most
entertaining and excellent fun. It was some kind of package deal, so we were
chauffered around in a minibus with a bloke and a very cute young lady which
did much to distract us from our hangovers. After having a few cans through the
day, it was time to settle in for an evening's drinking, and the suggested
place was an Irish bar, Beckett's, which was pricey, but did have a good
selection of ale (Kilkenny, Guinness, Amstel, Heineken, Aszok and an excellent
weisbier in Edelweiss). The interior is quite traditional pub in appearance. We
watched a very dull football match involving Tottenham and Chelsea, before
moving on. Final pub of the tour, and what turned out to be my 1000th
individually rated pub, was le Bistrot 51, basically a restaurant which did a
bit of beer. We ordered some solids and waited quite a long time for them. The
menu was written in awful English, and one of our party was dismayed to find
out that the 'Snake' he had ordered was actually 'Snail'. The evening perked up
though, as a party of German students came in, and we had fun squeezing past
them to get to the toilet. That was really all for the weekend, though a few
hardened souls did stay up late in the hotel after our return playing shithead
and drinking beer, Unicum and schnapps.
Dan
Lovegrove
dan@doctor-lovegrove.com
Last updated 3rd October 2004.