77.
Dave Wacey comes to Balham, New Year's Day,
As Dave Wacey was in
Milling through towards Tooting, we came
across the trendy Hope. It's not actually that bad at all; there were many
attractive specimens sitting down drinking, and there was one behind the bar
too. It's one of these green stain painted interiored places, quite woody, like
a rustic All Bar One. It also has a split level arrangement (I assume it is on
a hill), so the bar is high up which affords interesting views onto fellow
drinkers. Finally, the beer is good. Nethergate Umbel, London Pride, Deuchars
IPA and Harviestoun's festive offering were on, and there was also interesting,
and no doubt pricey, lager in the form of Kuppers and Staropramen, and some
even pricier Belgian fruit ale on draught.
Another walk followed to the pitiful
Wheatsheaf on the corner at Tooting Bec tube. It's a typical
We headed off for chips after this and ate
them whilst walking down to Tooting Broadway, passing a couple of awful looking
places on the way. We popped into the Castle, which is a very nice plush Young’s
pub, with some good cosy corners. Here, we decided to have pints rather than
halves. Dave had a very nice pint bottle of double chocolate stout, and I had
some excellent Winter Warmer. Bitter and Special were also available. It was
also reasonably cheap too. A moderately attractive young lady was serving
behind the bar. After a quick bus ride, we found ourselves in Mitcham as I had
expressed a wish to visit the Beehive. Sadly, this pub was boarded up and the
nearby Three Kings was shut, so we had to traipse back into the centre of
Mitcham to sample from the Kings Arms, another Young’s pub thought
somehow more draughty than the Castle. It must have been draughty as there was
a nice young foreign lady behind the bar wearing a Parka. The same beers as the
Castle were available. I ended up in the Ladies' because holly wreaths were
obscuring the signage on the toilet doors...
Across the road was the White Lion of
Mortimer, a slightly shabby Wetherspoon’s, that did the standard
Wetherspoon’s range of assorted beers at cheap prices. On our visit we
were afforded the choice of Smiles Holly Hops, Shepherd Neame Cracker, Courage
Directors and Bitter, Marston’s Pedigree and
The Hooden on the Green, where we had once
seen a fantastic leather trousered barmaid was closed, so we had to go to the
Cricketers which was a bit of a hole and has a strange arrangement of seats
such that there are several booths, far larger than you actually need, thus
wasting space. Not that there were many people drinking there. Youn’gs
Bitter and Special were served by an idiot of a bar man. It was time to head
back to Balham, so we darted across the road to get on a bus. We alighted part
way there to try the Railway Bell, but oddly they had already called last
orders yet it was only 10.35! Fortunately, the Gorringe Park was across the
road which wasn't much good (another draughty boozer) but did at least serve.
Supremely average, with tatty wooden bar, Young’s Bitter and Special in
the pipes.
Time was getting on but we managed to get
on one last bus and back to Balham for a visit to the first pub we saw which
was the Balham Tup. This is one of those annoying pubs which is actually quite
shit but is popular with slightly educated, moderately affluent, often
keen-on-rugby youngsters, often Aussies, Kiwis or South Africans who like to
drink bottled lagers or Guinness. Fortunately we had just made it in time for a
swift pair of halves, served to us by quite a French lady, who was actually
quite cute. The beer wasn't up to much, being Greene King IPA, Courage Bitter,
Bombardier and something dodgy called Tup Bitter (never, ever go for anonymous
beers brewed for and named after a pub as they are normally weak piss).
However, we had got off to a good start for 2005.
Dan
Lovegrove
dan@doctor-lovegrove.com
Last updated 14th January 2005.